Never trust someone who lies to you.
Never lie to someone who trusts you.
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours...
The Gowan Three
Friday, March 19, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Faith
I just wish I could have all the faith in the world without having to go through all the difficult times to get me there. Just found out some news today that requires me to have faith. Faith that God knows better than me, and faith that whatever happens, God will get me through it. God is faithful. I just need to remember to be faithful to Him, too.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
"Undaunted Radiance"
Caleb emailed this to me tonight in response to my last post (thanks love):
My Utmost for His Highest
"Undaunted Radiance"
My Utmost for His Highest
Oswald Chambers
March 7
"Undaunted Radiance"
"Nay, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." Romans 8:37
Paul is speaking of the things that might seem likely to separate or wedge in between the saint and the love of God; but the remarkable thing is that nothing can wedge in between the love of God and the saint. These things can and do come in between the devotional exercises of the soul and God and separate individual life from God; but none of them is able to wedge in between the love of God and the soul of the saint. The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we never can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.
The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstances, these very things- tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it- "I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation," says Paul.
Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are important to touch the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
We're Engaged!!!!!!!!!!
Yes indeed! We're engaged! The "surprise" on Saturday was him taking me to the beach early in the morning (6am) and seeing the sunrise...AND him asking me to marry him! It was so beautiful, so sweet, so romantic, so perfect! He made me my favorite tea (chai) and brought his bible with him as we walked to the beach. We sat on the steps and he read 1st Corinthians 13, and Ephesians 5 (while he read this passage, I was a little suspicious, but decided to shrug it off....) and then he led us in prayer. I prayed for our relationship and for our future together, then he did the same. Then, God made us see the most beautiful sunrise ever...it was breathtaking...my first time seeing the sun come up! I took my camera and started taking pictures (of course) then he told me to stand up, and then he got down on one knee and asked "THE QUESTION!" Honestly...I could not even begin to tell you the words he said to me leading up to the question...all that was going through my head was "oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh"....was this really happening?! It was! He asked "Will you marry me?" and I tried to think of something witty and clever to say, but I honestly couldn't think of what to say...except "YES!"
We made the oh so cliche heart in the sand with our names...took tons of pictures of the ring, and then it was on to my next surprise! He booked a couples massage for us! My first time getting a massage too! So relaxing and peaceful...except that I walked away with these huge line marks on my face because of the towels I was laying on....=) He wanted us to watch Casablanca, but I was SO tired (from only get 2.5 hours of sleep bc of the jet lag) so we took a nice and long nap...OH, but before that, we went to the Jewelry store to resize my ring...it was MUCH too big, and it was such a blessing that they were able to resize it in just a couple of hours! after the nap, we got all dressed up because he took me to Ruth's Chris...THE best steakhouse and restaurant ever. From the food to the waiter to the setting, it was spectacular in every way and exceeded my expectations. it was the perfect day, the perfect RING, and now i have the most perfect MAN who is my fiance! I'm ENGAGED!
The happiness was short lived because the next day, I just cried my eyes out since I was going to be leaving Monday. It just made me sad thinking about how Id have to leave the one mortal man who I love more than anyone...and not knowing what the future holds for us...timewise.
okay so let me explain. We don't know when the wedding will be. I am trying NOT to think about this too much because for once, I am going to just trust God instead of trying to plan things out according to my limited knowledge. BUT, here's what I do know (i think):
1. there's a possibility that we could get married a lot sooner than we had originally planned
2. there's a possibility we could get married on the date we originally planned
3. there's a possibility we could get married a lot later than we had originally planned.
The date that would be perfect would be: June 11th, 2011. Now, we have to listen to what God wants us to do.
Why is there so much confusion? Because of Caleb's deployment schedule. Originally, we thought that he was going to deploy sometime THIS year...and we had kind of prepared for him to leave Summer or Fall 2010...allowing ME the chance to plan the wedding while he is away, for us to get married when he returned some time in Spring 2011, or Summer 2011. However, we recently found out that his unit will be deploying sometime next year...and after talking to one of the Lieutenants in Cherry Point, it will most likely be sometime in Feb/March of 2011 (However, there is a SLIM chance that he could be in another unit that deploys in November, which would then work out perfectly as we would plan for our June 2011 wedding!...but it's a slim chance that it will happen...) SO, we could plan to get married before then, however, we would encounter one problem: my parents. I don't think it will go over well with my parents at all...as they have been preparing for me to get married in June 2011. And then there's the option of getting married after he comes back from his deployment, which would lead to a very long engagement, of almost 2 years.
sigh.
SO, there's the situation. there's the dilemna. there's the confusion. there's the problem.
I know that I control nothing. I don't control his schedule, time, my parent's feelings. Nada. I will use this time to pray and fast and seek God's will for us. There is a heavy burden inside of me because I want so badly to do things my way. If it was up to me, then I would marry him as soon as possible and then just trust God to lead the rest of the way...however, it's so much more complicated because I have to factor in my family, my job, etc...
It sucks having limitations, but in times of trials and tribulations, I'll do what James says to do, and that is to be joyful and thank God for allowing me to go through these difficult times so that my faith will grow. So God, I will surrender all my worries and doubts, my fears, my desires, my stress, my confusion, my anger, my frustrations, and I will give them to you...and I will try my best to be still and listen to you and draw nearer to you. Ultimately, God knows best. He already knows when. He already knows everything...so in that, I can rest assured that His way is better than mine. I trust God and I know that He will lead us as long as we are obedient and seek His will before ours.
I'll update more when I can.
Til then,
i'm signing off....
As an engaged woman!!!!
tfm.
We made the oh so cliche heart in the sand with our names...took tons of pictures of the ring, and then it was on to my next surprise! He booked a couples massage for us! My first time getting a massage too! So relaxing and peaceful...except that I walked away with these huge line marks on my face because of the towels I was laying on....=) He wanted us to watch Casablanca, but I was SO tired (from only get 2.5 hours of sleep bc of the jet lag) so we took a nice and long nap...OH, but before that, we went to the Jewelry store to resize my ring...it was MUCH too big, and it was such a blessing that they were able to resize it in just a couple of hours! after the nap, we got all dressed up because he took me to Ruth's Chris...THE best steakhouse and restaurant ever. From the food to the waiter to the setting, it was spectacular in every way and exceeded my expectations. it was the perfect day, the perfect RING, and now i have the most perfect MAN who is my fiance! I'm ENGAGED!
The happiness was short lived because the next day, I just cried my eyes out since I was going to be leaving Monday. It just made me sad thinking about how Id have to leave the one mortal man who I love more than anyone...and not knowing what the future holds for us...timewise.
okay so let me explain. We don't know when the wedding will be. I am trying NOT to think about this too much because for once, I am going to just trust God instead of trying to plan things out according to my limited knowledge. BUT, here's what I do know (i think):
1. there's a possibility that we could get married a lot sooner than we had originally planned
2. there's a possibility we could get married on the date we originally planned
3. there's a possibility we could get married a lot later than we had originally planned.
The date that would be perfect would be: June 11th, 2011. Now, we have to listen to what God wants us to do.
Why is there so much confusion? Because of Caleb's deployment schedule. Originally, we thought that he was going to deploy sometime THIS year...and we had kind of prepared for him to leave Summer or Fall 2010...allowing ME the chance to plan the wedding while he is away, for us to get married when he returned some time in Spring 2011, or Summer 2011. However, we recently found out that his unit will be deploying sometime next year...and after talking to one of the Lieutenants in Cherry Point, it will most likely be sometime in Feb/March of 2011 (However, there is a SLIM chance that he could be in another unit that deploys in November, which would then work out perfectly as we would plan for our June 2011 wedding!...but it's a slim chance that it will happen...) SO, we could plan to get married before then, however, we would encounter one problem: my parents. I don't think it will go over well with my parents at all...as they have been preparing for me to get married in June 2011. And then there's the option of getting married after he comes back from his deployment, which would lead to a very long engagement, of almost 2 years.
sigh.
SO, there's the situation. there's the dilemna. there's the confusion. there's the problem.
I know that I control nothing. I don't control his schedule, time, my parent's feelings. Nada. I will use this time to pray and fast and seek God's will for us. There is a heavy burden inside of me because I want so badly to do things my way. If it was up to me, then I would marry him as soon as possible and then just trust God to lead the rest of the way...however, it's so much more complicated because I have to factor in my family, my job, etc...
It sucks having limitations, but in times of trials and tribulations, I'll do what James says to do, and that is to be joyful and thank God for allowing me to go through these difficult times so that my faith will grow. So God, I will surrender all my worries and doubts, my fears, my desires, my stress, my confusion, my anger, my frustrations, and I will give them to you...and I will try my best to be still and listen to you and draw nearer to you. Ultimately, God knows best. He already knows when. He already knows everything...so in that, I can rest assured that His way is better than mine. I trust God and I know that He will lead us as long as we are obedient and seek His will before ours.
I'll update more when I can.
Til then,
i'm signing off....
As an engaged woman!!!!
tfm.
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