God is Good.

I made it to Virginia!

After all the worrying and anxious waiting yesterday, God came through and granted me safe travels! It was a long flight from San Diego to Baltimore with lots of turbulence...but I'm not complaining! I made it safe and sound. There was a lady right across from me who passed out in the middle of the flight She was unconscious for a while, but thankfully there was a fireman on board who was able to give her some medical care.

It's an unbelievably magical feeling when I see Caleb. What's really funny is that I get extremely nervous the last couple hours before I see him. I go through so many different scenarios of what I want to do when I see him for the first time. Do I: drop everything I have, run up to him and hug him? Jump on him when I hug him? be super shy because I feel nervous when i see him? Hug him tightly and give him a kiss? I have so many different "options" so to say, but when I actually see him, everything that I have planned out flies out the window. Tonight, I managed to knock over my carry-on luggage while I was hugging him...great. Oh well, I'm sure there'll be many more moments like this in the future...=)

We were BOTH extremely tired. I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep last night, and a few hours on the plane as well. Caleb has been staying up late and going in early this week to work on a brief that he will be presenting tomorrow. He wasn't able to work on it tonight because I flew in, so he had to work double time the last few days...I know he'll do great, but I feel a little pang of guilt knowing that he would've been able to do a lot more tonight if I didn't come.

Tomorrow's Friday. He still has class but he told me he'll drop by during lunch to grab something to eat and check on me. Then he'll be off again til about 4,5, or maybe even 6oclock. We're planning on eating at a Sushi place where him and his colleagues go to every Friday, so I'm pretty excited to meet his friends and to get to know them.

It all still seems surreal. I just can't believe I'm in Virginia and that I'll be seeing him again tomorrow. I pray that we aren't tempted and if we are, that we will remind each other to be strong and to remain pure...It's definitely challenging after not seeing someone you love and are extremely attracted to continue to remain pure...but, I know that both of us love God and love each other and want to honor doing the right thing...

Well, it's 12:20 am here...I'm not tired yet, but I'll probably read another few hundred pages of Eclipse....the third installment of Twilight saga. If I still can't sleep by then, I'll watch a few episodes of Glee online. I just finished watching the Olympics and I'm so happy because Yuna Kim won the gold medal for the Women's figure skating competition. SO proud of her.

I'm so excited for the weekend and what it has in store....I'm going to try not to think about any negatives, and continue to focus on the positive.

Peace from the East (coast).

Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be.

How many obstacles can a relationship go through?!

I feel like Caleb and I have experienced (and are still experiencing) so many tests and trials throughout our ENTIRE relationship, and especially within these last couple months. From my parents to my sister, from the long distance Point Loma to Mira Mesa relationship to the long distance East Coast/West Coast relationship we are in now, from the hectic TBS days to the busy MOS days now, from our/my trust issues to unforgivable weather issues, from being stationed at Cherry Point NC to the uncertainities about his deployment...it's endless. JUST endless!!!!!

My original trip to visit Caleb was February 11th. Now, it might be March 4th. Can you believe that?!!! I'm in this anxious waiting period right now to see whether or not my flight tomorrow will be cancelled. I found out last night by looking at Southwest.com and the weather channel that my flight might be cancelled due to weather conditions...again. There's another big storm that will hit the Northeast tomorrow. I wasn't feeling too happy yesterday for some reason (probably trying not to get too excited for my trip in case something like THIS happened), and when I found out that my flight might be cancelled, I lost it. I started CRYING...uncontrollably and tried to sleep off my disappointment to no avail. I couldn't stop crying so I called Caleb and asked him to stay on the phone with me while I tried to sleep. Poor Caleb...I woke him around around 2am his time and he had to wake up at 0513...even though he was a little out of it, he was still able to be super sweet to me while I was bawling my eyes out.

Anyway, I feel better today. He called me this morning and we were able to talk for a good 20 minutes while I was finishing my breakfast and driving to work. He reminded me that everything is in God's hands, and that the worst that can happen is that I will see him next week. So, I am not mad at God anymore...I was last night. But today, no matter what happens, I am happy that I have a wonderful man who I can call my boyfriend and best friend. I have been checking the status of Southwest and the weather channel ALL morning and I haven't received a call YET. We'll see...I'll continue to check the status throughout the day. I just PRAY that my trip doesn't get cancelled while I'm at the airport tomorrow. That would just suck. I'd rather know now than later, and if I had to ask God for anything, it would be just that. I wouldn't want my sister to have to wake up super early only to call her back to pick me up at the airport again, so God, please let me know soon!!! =)

Anyway, I have learned and I've just decided to stop planning. I'm just going to sit back and try not to take the reigns on future events anymore. It'll liberate me! anyway...i'm off to lunch in a couple of minutes. If anything changes, I'll be sure to post!

ramblings

I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. I feel there's so much going on, but I'm too lazy to journal. I'm at work at the moment and have finished most of my work, so I'm forcing myself to take this opportunity to write about what's been happening. I'll just do bullet points....in no particular order, here goes:

-last Monday, Melodies led worship at the first Women's Ministry of the season. It was wonderful! We ended our set with "Our God is an Awesome God," SIGNING and SINGING at the same time and the few that were there also participated in signing. SO much fun!

- My trip got cancelled because of the weather conditions a week ago. I'll be seeing Caleb next Thursday...it seems SO far away, but I know it's not!

- I'm happy that my parents are back from their trip to Indonesia. I didn't realize how much I missed them until they came back.

- I've been teaching Mom how to text message. She's getting it...just needs to keep on doing it daily...but she is so excited to learn and to actually be caught up with technology (finally). This is a small step...but, at least she is learning!

- I need to prioritize my relationship with God. and to reignite that fire for Him.

- Caleb and I are great. It's always hard, but we are adjusting and getting used to everything I think. He's usually in class til late at night, and will call me whenever he gets back to his room...and I've been okay with that, at least for now!

- His birthday was two days ago! Sad I couldn't celebrate with him, but will definitely celebrate with him when I see him.

- Piano students are doing good. It gets frustrating at times...but I see potential in all my students. Ian had his recital (in front of my mom, denise, his mom and nathan) a few weeks ago and did great. I bought him a Bionicle as his reward and HE was so excited and happy. Nathan's recital will be on March 9th, hopefully...just got to motivate him to practice and to clean up all of his pieces. Alex and Gabriel are doing VERY good. They both improved a lot last week, so I hope that today's lesson will also be as good as the last. I have a notation test for them to take today, so hopefully they do good.

- I might get another piano student and it'll be a GIRL (finally!!!). She's five and I would have to drive to her house, however, so we'll see how that all fits in my already packed schedule.

- I won't get a lot back from Taxes this year compared to last year! UGH. but I'm grateful that I don't have to PAY at least. and I'm grateful I still have a job!

- Going to Universal Studios tomorrow to celebrate Cynthia's birthday with Linda and her friends from LA. She booked a room at the Hilton...so it should be fun! It's supposed to rain though...but that won't stop us from having fun!

- I bought her a cake from "it's a piece of cake" and can't wait to eat it!! It's red velvet and it looks delicious.

- I need to be a better person and not judge people.

- I have discovered that I am very sensitive to negative words directed at me. Some people don't really care about what words are said to them, but I do.

- I won a 100 gift certificate to a spa from the radio by submitting a love letter that I wrote to Caleb. I have yet to pick up my prize!!!! I will have to find some time to do it next week!

- will continue later...

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation

Happy Valentine's Day weekend...

13 more days and counting til I see my true Valentine...

Far in distance, close at heart. I can't see you right now Caleb, but I can sure feel how much you love me.

Adjusting, Anticipating, Re-dedicating, and Surrendering

Adjusting. The past few weeks have been a time of adjusting. Caleb is at his MOS school, which means we don't have much time to talk throughout the day, or sometimes at all. Some days are a lot harder than others. I try not to dwell in the negativity of the situation, but try my best to look at the positives. The positive is that I have an awesome man of God who loves me unconditionally, who is trying his best to always make me happy through texts, emails, and voicemails when we can't talk on the phone, who is constantly trying to understand my needs above his, who is sensitive to my emotions, and most importantly, is the man who is my best friend. Even though he can't always be there for me right when I want him to, I know that our love is so special and there is nobody else who could ever take his place. I know this all sounds a little too lovey-dovey, but I really don't know how else to explain it!!! I love waking up at 2 in the morning to call him just to say 'good morning, i love you' to him before he has to leave, i love hearing his voice in the morning when i do call him (even though i hardly remember what i say because im still so sleepy!), I love cherishing every single special moment I have with him and never taking anything for granted.

I guess I have really learned to appreciate the small things. I have saved every sweet text message he has sent in an email folder so I can re-read them whenever I miss him, I have saved every sweet email he has written to me to do the same and saved all of his voicemails to re-play at night when I miss hearing his voice. It's amazing that after almost a year in a half, I am more in love with him than I have ever been. Distance IS hard, but I can't deny how romantic it is at the same time. The "tfm"'s, the "shmilys", the "i love you like...", the little games we play back and forth to try to out-sweet the other person, is seriously priceless. Would I rather have him here with me every day? OF COURSE. That is what I can only pray will come true one blessed day. However, I am treasuring how much more beautiful everything is with him being 3000 miles away. I look forward to his phonecalls, to his emails, to his text messages, to his poems, to his pictures, to our skype dates, and most of all, I look forward to seeing him in a week!

Anticipating: I'll be leaving next week to see my honey. I am SO looking forward to this trip because I can't begin to describe just how much I have missed him. I can't WAIT to hug him and hold his hand, to sit next to him in a car! to look at his face whenever I want to, to watch movies with him and eat with him! haha...it sounds so silly, but it's the simple things that I miss the most. He told me that he'll take me out for Valentine's Day and I can't wait to see what he has planned. He told me to dress up and he told me he'll be wearing a suit for the night. It's what every girl loves to do...get pretty for her man! I simply can't wait. This week will seem like one year! He will be working almost all the days I am there, unfortunately, but he told me he'll try his best to finish everything as soon as possible. But, just being with him is more than enough for me.

Re-Dedicating: I want to be closer to Jesus. I need to pray and read His word more. I have to remind myself that serving in Ministry is not my first ministry. Jesus is my first ministry and I don't want to be so busy that I don't have personal time with Him. So far, it's been great! I have had some time at night to just relax, but now I have to take advantage of that time and use it wisely. I want my fire and desire to know HIM to grow daily. Caleb read a passage from his devotions (My Utmost for His highest) to me the other night. It reminded me that I need to do more than just BE saved. I AM saved. Now, I need to do His purpose for me in my life...and I am excited to be used for His purpose.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8


I love this verse. It just reignites my fire to do His will. How exciting. What a priviledge it is to do something for GOD. We always ask and take, ask and demand, ask and complain, ask and want more. I don't want to ask, I want to answer...

Surrendering: The hardest thing for me to do at this point of my life is to surrender. To surrender my fleshly desires and to lay it at the cross. My future, my plans, my wants, my fears, my relationship, my everything. I'll be honest, I am scared sometimes...I don't know what the future holds. I have my desires, but in the end, everything is in His hands. Last night just reminded me that everything I have belongs to Him. He gives and takes away. I don't mind the "giving," part, but I suppose I am scared of the "taking away" part. I feel so blessed in my life right now...I have a roof to live under, family, friends, a great church, Caleb, a job, students to teach, a car, savings, food, water, etc. Now, how blessed will I feel if He decides to take these things away from me?? Something that I need to pray about...I don't want to idolize anything, nor take anything for granted. I feel blessed and in the end, whatever may happen, the wonderful thing about Him is that He will always be there for me. He is faithful, and there is nothing that I should fear.

Ok...got to stop for now. I'll try to update soon.

Adios.

TFM.

p.s. Here is a poem Caleb wrote this week for me. I couldn't stop smiling!